Forcing Kids to clean their rooms?
Most people have an opinion on this. I struggle with mess all the time- I try and let things go and not worry about it - but for the most part our house is in chaos, I can’t find anything and I do get frustrated. I can’t be frustrated enough though or house would be tidier! Not the dirty kind of mess- but laundry piled high, toys, etc all over the floor hallway a mountain of roller blades, bike helmets and coats kind of mess. This is choice I or we make. We choose to take off for the day and go strawberry picking rather than stay home and cut the grass and vacuum the family room. The challenge I have to come to realize for me is not the constant trying to keep up with the mess but accepting the clutter and moving on or dealing with the clutter and moving on.
We had company this weekend and it took about 3 hours to get the house in shape- I have to admit its nice to walk on freshly vacuumed floors and not trip over anything. I am telling myself maybe we should keep this up and I could feel this way all the time.
At any rate my point is- its my choice to live this way and I figure my kids should have the same choice. My daughters room looks similar to mine- books piles high, clothes every where, papers strewn on every surface. Last week she had a sleepover with other girls and spent 4 hours organizing, sorting and cleaning without my nudging she didn’t to be embarrassed and took it on herself to clean up for the kids coming over. I was talking on the phone with a non-homeschool friend this morning and she was was talking about getting her daughter to clean her room up- I pointed out that her room is “hers” and should be a place to express herself and do as she wants and said if you let t go you may be surprised that when she tales “ownership” of her room pride may come and she might take it upon herself to clean up- or not . That I felt that letting kids make their own choices helped develop self esteem and understand natural consequences. Bullying the into doing something can serve no higher purpose- and in my mind vacuumed rugs are no match for self esteem and life lessons.
This is an issue that really hits home - what is “theirs” (our childrens’) and what is “ours”. Children are not born knowing how to keep order. This was not an issue in simpler societies, where all we owned was for immediate utilitarian value. But now we have so much STUFF. Even the most disorganized child likes order (and will admit to it if not feeling defensive about their inability to accomplish it) and it is a gift to teach a child how to be organized. But balance is key - don’t stiffle play or creativity for order.